I was sitting in these pretty gardens the other day, it’s one of my favourite things to do to simply sit in nature or walk in nature. On this occasion sat there with a nice hot de-caf cappuccino and delicious gluten free cake!! (I’m setting the scene), I love to simply read and write everyday of my life and one of my favourite things to do, especially when I get to enjoy the company of a robin as I so often do!! (as well as my guardian angel). After this special time that day, I continued to hang out there, this time with my sister Julie. She felt really inspired to read me a letter I’d written her quite a while ago. Here it is. Unusually it’s in extremely neat calligraphy style handwriting with pink painted hearts around it. I remember on that day that I felt really inspired to write to her in this way. My Mum described it as poetic. But poetry isn’t all roses and lavender is it?
This is what I wrote, shared with my sisters permission:
Sometimes grief is the pain you feel even when the other persons alive, because although they’re physically alive, you’ve lost them in mind, body and spirit, and the love has disappeared. It’s like the sunflower couldn’t see the sun, and felt sad. It’s like the sweetpea flower hadn’t been watered, the longer the neglect, like it had been poisoned. This is what happened to me and my sister, for 3 years our relationship died, we lost each other, it was sad, so painful and sad, loss of a best friend. The poisonous arrow was removed and the two flowers gasped for air.
The sunflower offered the sweet pea the sun again, she accepted this gift, and ran away to heal. The sunflower held out her healthy green leaf and gave her a hug. She accepted and petal by petal she grew and healed. They smiled again. Finally coming out of the storm into the happier times. Life is like the waves of the sea, but sisterly love is strong and never to be broken again.
Thank you for being my sister.
If you’re wondering why I’m talking in this flowery language in my letter, it’s because my sister is Author of two wonderful books, in her first book ‘Who are the flowers in your garden?’ she describes life as being like a garden and how she helps with the relationships and everything in your garden/ life. Julie has always likened herself to a sunflower and for me I’ve always loved sweetpeas, so that’s where the flower analogy comes from. Her second book funnily enough helps people with grief, the grief garden path, an award winning book.
The point is here is that I went through a very tricky, traumatic bout of domestic abuse, one where I lived in fear for many years, diminishing my sense of self till there wasn’t much left, I was a shadow of my former self, there was a last straw and I did take strong action calling the Police. Thankfully social services escorted me and my then 3 year old son away to safety. Thank goodness and with gratitude to that. But the healing took years. The scars of psychological and emotional abuse and the terror and pain it brings to many aspects of your life take time to heal, including the relationships it destroyed on the way.
Thankfully me and my sister are in the best friends bracket again, how lovely is that? But it took, so long to get to this point again. In fact 12 long years. It doesn’t need to take as long for you, but we are all on different journeys. The biggest healing came for me working with the angels, discovering new ways to heal with angel healing, reiki healing, gaining important certifications so I could help others, and also creating my own certification so I could train others in what I do too.
I found positive affirmation cards and angel and other oracle cards both so therapeutic, but also fun and a way to deepen my connection to the angels and receive important guidance I needed for my life, it might have been as simple as a tip of the day, an ‘encouragement’ to change my mindset and improve my language of how I’m talking to myself, ultimately it transformed me back to a more sparkly version of myself and led me to work far deeper than I’d ever imagined I’d do with a deep soul purpose behind it. Ultimately the angels absolutely do not want you to suffer, but if you do in any way, small or big, they are there to catch you and help you. Rest assured of that. All you have to ask. And now training others is a gift I can pass on, both for your personal journey which is supposed to be beautiful and enjoyable and also for your soul purpose too, as you probably know you have important ways you’re meant to help others too, whether that’s adults or children or in other ways. Other days I just help people in their lives which is lovely too. Whatever way, it’s rewarding and meant to be.
Things don’t have to stay the same. Each day is different like the waves of the sea, but know deep in your heart you really can live your best life, with a spiritual best friend of your guardian angel cheering you on and many friends and family along the way too. The good ones will stay. The others, they weren’t meant to be forever, and that’s ok too.
Sending you love and wings of unconditional love from your guardian angel
Beverley Densham BSc (Hons)
Author of I Talk to Angels
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